Memorial


As many of you know I am studying to be a Mortician. As it is part of my career I was able to assist in a beautiful memorial service that we had this morning in honor of a professor's son who died recently. She also invited any and all from the ship board community to take part and honor those they wished too. People honored family members, friends and even pets.

The memorial was a sunrise memorial. Not too long after sunrise at 6:30 a.m. a chaplain, Milton Oris, began the ceremony. These are his notes:

Order of Service – Thursday, Oct. 21, 2009 – MV Explorer

In Memory of Thomas Skokan
And the Lives of Other Loved Ones Now Departed.

1. Welcome to the Service

Thank you all for coming to this very special time on our voyage – to celebrate the life of Thomas Skokan and many, many others whose memories all of us here wish to cherish and honor this morning. I also with to thank a number of people were very helpful in preparing the service today including Ann and Sam, the members of the choir, and to Captain Jeremy for changing the course of the ship in recognition of the service this morning.

2. The Call to Worship

We have come together from different places;
We are at different stages in our journey through life.
Our paths are varied;
We look at life in different ways.

And so we have turned aside from our accustomed ways,
and are gathered here to do honour and praise to the life and memory of so many special people in each of our lives.
We come in sorrow, confronting the fact that life ends.
This is the condition of our birth, that at the end of the road, near or far, stands always our death. The need that is upon us is to accept both the glory and the tragedy of life, its holiness and its limits.

Peace be to this house
And to all who enter herein
We gather in grief, in promise, in love, and in hope
In the midst of sorrow we give thanks for life.

3. A Homily

Today our hearts are feeling the tragedy, the shock, and the sorrow that the death of a loved one brings and in the case of Thomas, sudden and premature. No philosophy or religion ever taught can prevent this wholly natural reaction of the human heart. We grieve over the good times no longer possible; we mourn the stories that might have been told. But we cannot reverse the tide and all answers to the question "Why?" are futile.
So family and friends gather together for many reasons. Life has touched them with a deep grief and they need one another's company for their own comfort. It is right that we should grieve, for grief is part of the healing process. It is also testimony to the worth to us of those for whom we grieve and of our affection for them.
At such a time the various faiths which sustain us separately come together in a harmony which acts across all creeds and assures us of the permanence of goodness and the value of a serviceable life.
Today we shall read poetry, talk about death and life and give thanks that Thomas and all our loved ones lived. There will be a time in the service when anyone here who wishes to honour a memory of a loved one will do so,

4. Readings From Our Faiths

Look to this day:
For it is life, the very life of life,
In its brief course lie all the truths and realities of our existence:
The bliss of growth,
The glory of action,
The splendour of beauty;
For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision;
But today well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope,
Look well, therefore, to this day.
- attributed to Kalidasa, 3rd Century Hindu poet

And from Kahlil Gibran, a Muslim poet, in The Prophet
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

Now an Opening Prayer from our Christian faith
Holy Spirit of Life, Source of All Creation, we give thanks this day for the gift of life of all our departed loved ones. We are blessed by the memory of those most dear to us, who have lived their days, and have gone from this earth.
Console us who mourn. Heal the wounds of our mortal loss. Show us courage that against the richness of abundant life, the forces of death shall not prevail. In death, in life, in memory, and in hope, we discover the sacred dimension of all our lives which binds us together as we grieve in love as one. Amen.


5. The Choir – Morning Has Broken



6. The Circle Of Life

To everything there is a season
And a time to every purpose under heaven,
A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to harvest,
A time to hurt and a time to heal,
A time to break and a time to build,
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to cast away stones and a time to bring stones together,
A time to embrace and a time to be apart,
A time to get and a time too lose,
A time to keep silence and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
A time of war and a time of peace,
We should rejoice in our works for that is our portion.

7. Thomas’ Favourite Poem by Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.






8. The Eulogy

Thomas Andrew Skokan, 25, died peacefully in his sleep on Thursday, September 12, 2007 He was born in Wheatridge, just outside of Denver, Colorado on July 19, 1982, After attending local schools he went to Metropolitan State College where he obtained his Batchelor’s degree in Science, with a major in chemistry and a minor in math. At the time of his death he was working for Bonfils Blood Center in Denver in tissue matching for transplants and as an IT specialist. He loved drum and bass music and was often a disc jockey at Cosmos, a local club. He was also an excellent chef and loved good wine.

Thomas loved to travel and one of his first major adventures was to be a student on the Semester at Sea voyage of 2002. This was a life changing experience for him. After his return he hung a picture of the deck of the ship and a wall hanging of Shiva that he obtained in India in his bedroom. His last trip a few months before his death was to Prague with Catherine, his frequent travel companion, a favourite city for both of them.

His other loves included snowboarding and his cats Herbie and Alex, who loved him as well for the kind and gentle person he was. Tom was very close to his large extended family including his parents Cathie and Jack, his grandmother, two sisters and two brothers, and many cousins and one nephew. He was also engaged to his soul mate – Ashley.

In the few weeks before his death there were three major and joyous family gatherings that brought them all together - a gift that was very special and for which family were all very grateful.

Thomas’s ashes have remained in the Skokan home since his death waiting for this special time and place for him to be returned to nature. It represents many things – his love of travel, his Semester at Sea voyage, and his very deep love of nature. This is the right time and the right place for him to return to Mother Earth.

9. Placing of the Ashes and Flowers

After Catherine has placed Thomas’ ashes overboard, others will be called to the rail to drop their flowers of remembrance. The names of those taking part in the ceremony, and the names of those they are honouring will be read out.
Dropping of flowers by Milton for all the others whose names are unspoken yet who live in our hearts will complete this part of the service.

10. The Choir – Take Me In



11. A Message to Us All

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep,
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.

12. In Loving Memory of Thomas and all the others we honour.

Don’t grieve for me for now I’m free.
I’m following the path God laid for me,
I took his hand when I heard him call,
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work, or play,
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found that peace at the close of the day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy,
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,
Oh yes, those things I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life’s been full, I savoured much,
Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief,
Lift up your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now, he set me free.

13. Closing Comments – I would now ask you all to join hands . . .
To all of you who shared this special and sacred time with Cathie – thank you for being here – and for celebrating the joys and sorrows of your loved ones as well.

Our service is now over – go forth with thanks and gratitude for all we have and for the blessings of this day. Blessed be all of you.

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As the names of all those who honored someone's death were read they threw flowers into the ocean which were taken under immediately by the path our the ship. As they did this, the ship sailed in circle a few times. We were in the middle of the Indiana ocean honoring those we love and remembering them as the sun rose over the calm ocean to begin the day.